You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
where are you?
Hypothermia
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
