why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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