You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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