This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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