Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
