Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
