I'm going to rape someone's good day.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize