So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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