I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
