well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize