New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
