everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
