Screwed.edu
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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