Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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