we're chasing vodka with high fives
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I believe in your delicious
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
