Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
