Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
