I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
