Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
