No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
