I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
