I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
