i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
