Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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