Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
