i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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