When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
