If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
