yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize