Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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