is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
