They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
