He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
