what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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