is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize