Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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