well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
