U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
