You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
