some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
