so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
