I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
