I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you didnt know i had herpes?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
