I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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