Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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