yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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