I wannas sexs uuuuu
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
did i just pee glitter
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
