I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
