11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
3 2 1 whiskey
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
