We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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