that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The power of my boobs compel you
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
