Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
