so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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