...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize