What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Everything about him screamed your future.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We don't watch enough power rangers
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
