Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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