Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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