So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
third nipple confirmed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize