god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
