we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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