I think I am morally bankrupt
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize