arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
