Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
